This last year has been a roller coaster of life and the travels have been few which has made me realize the constants in my life.  Of course, family has been a constant with phone calls, video chats and quick visits but what about those human beings that live next door. 

I grew up in the small town of Bottineau, North Dakota, where it was like the theme song from the television show “Cheers,” “Where Everybody Knows Your Name.” I remember my first childhood home which was only lived in for a short time but what I remember most was our neighbors.  They welcomed us with open arms as soon as we moved in and had older children who would babysit me and my sister.  Our parents got a long well so we were at their house quite a bit enjoying the conversation and occasional baked good.  They became family and we could count on them to be there if we needed them including celebrating milestones in each other’s lives. When it was time for us to move on to Fargo for one year it was excruciating for all of us to leave that warmth, that familiarity.  We would eventually move back to Bottineau where I would finish out my school years.  Our second home had that same familiar feeling which included more amazing people next door we could eventually call not only neighbors but family.  The block on Simrall Blvd. became my haven with the ability to run around the neighborhood and even build some forts with the kids in the neighborhood. Everyone looked out for each other and I thought that was something everyone did everywhere. I knew right then and there that I wanted to be a good neighbor.

My parents moved after I was done with High School and I can remember the day of the move like it was yesterday.  Everything was packed and we pulled away from not only our childhood home but the place where I learned to ride a bike, the place I had my first sleepover, but most importantly the neighbors who were our family. I knew that I wouldn’t be around much at our new home due to going to college so I wanted my parents to be able to have those neighbors and friendships again. I would have to say we finally experienced what it was like to have neighbors that didn’t care, that never came by to say “Hi” or introduce themselves.  We didn’t know anything different than having friendly neighbors that looked out for each other and it made us realize how special we had it before making this move.  It made my stomach swirl when it was time for me to go back to college knowing that my parents weren’t going to have those friendships and I hoped that eventually neighbors would show up but they never did.

When it was time to finally figure out a place to call our own, we talked to our realtor about neighborhoods and where we could see ourselves staying forever as I never wanted to go through this process again.  We were told that the homes around our new home were not rentals but when we finally moved almost all the houses around us ended up being rentals except ONE.  Of course, there is nothing wrong with rentals but we knew that there would be people coming and going with nothing permanent.  That ONE house had a married couple with a young boy and a cute dog.  It took us a while to introduce ourselves due to life getting in the way and the weather as we moved in September.  I am going to be honest that it takes me a while to open up and trust others but by the time the weather got nice out our first year in our new home we started to see our neighbors a little more.  My daughter is in love with dogs so of course she gravitated toward our neighbors’ dog and before you know it was playing with the neighbor boy.  Our driveways and garages started to become our personal gathering places.  We found out that we had a lot in common as well including officiating, United Way, games, and music.  We have the same morals and values but of course still have our differences which we didn’t let come between the relationships we had built. Our daughter thinks of their little boy as a brother since she is an only child and we truly enjoy having him around.  It has been a joy watching him grow up. They have become family and those type of people I can trust with anything.  The neighbors have been around for so many moments in our lives such as Birthdays, 1st and last days of school, Anniversaries, Holidays, and even a Cancer diagnosis. We even joked that someday we should build a tunnel to connect our houses. They have been our savior when this last year threw us the COVID curveball in the Spring as we were able to hangout when there was no place to go and time seemed to slow down as there was no activities for our kids. I know as our kids grew older, we would probably spend less time together as the activities and life would get in the way but it was just feeling that knowing they were there made me feel reassured.  It has been our honor to live beside these amazing human beings for six years.  We now have to say “Good-Bye” as they will no longer be living next door.  I continue having tears as I write this, it doesn’t seem real. They are staying close and will be in our lives forever as they don’t have a choice but we know it will never be the same. Who am I going to borrow canned tomatoes from when I am out?

Are you a good neighbor?  Have you gone to the people next door and introduced yourself? Do you just shovel your own driveway or do you help others out if you have time? When was the last time you sat in your driveway and had your neighbors over to have a conversation? Maybe we should check in with our neighbors so no one is alone?  I think Mr. Rogers had something going with his show as it would be awesome if we were all a little nicer to our neighbors.  It has been a hard process for me and my family and it may take me a while to go next door but I want to be a good neighbor! A HUGE THANK YOU to our family we called NEIGHBORS!

Music makes my world whole and here are a few songs that have been on replay as for some reason they just have the words that resonate with how I am feeling.  Take a listen!

I Lived – OneRepublic (Click Here)
I, I did it all
I owned every second that this world could give
I saw so many places
The things that I did
Yeah, with every broken bone
I swear I lived

Anonymous- Three Days Grace (Click Here)
In my mind worlds collide
Something inside me is gone
Still I keep going on
In my mind oceans divide
I don’t know where I belong
But still I keep holding on and on

Until Next Time……………………..

The poor ground chicken felt my frustration as I felt a little bit off today as I don’t see an end.  The moving and traveling part is still.  Do you ever feel like you just want to scream in the middle of a room due to your thoughts running away from you?  Do you ever feel lost to the point where you are not sure what the reflection in the mirror will look like the next moment? I would like to say I am having a rough day or feel out of sorts but that wouldn’t be being honest with myself.  Today had been a day where everything on the outside was going amazing but on the inside the thoughts of everything crept in to take over.

It will be okay. Give me a minute.

“Somewhere over the rainbow way up high
There’s a land that I heard of once in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true”

I fight the tears with every thought that comes to my crazy, wired brain. Why do I have these thoughts? Why is everything a mess?  The reflection I see is a shell of the person I use to be, the one with a genuine smile.  What is the meaning of the broken record we call life?  I see myself in a little girl with big, blue eyes and it scares me that she will have my thought process.  I can hear the static right now of the world and it is like a horror movie.  It is crippling as I feel the pain of those who are hurting.

It will be okay. Give me a minute.

“Someday I’ll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far
Behind me
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That’s where you’ll find me”

The bed is the place I want to be and hope when I open my eyes this is all just over.  I am tired.  I am being honest.  I don’t feel like talking or being social.  I hear people saying it will get better but right now those are whispers that I can’t make sense of in this moment.

I know it will pass and be okay but, in the meantime, just give me a minute.

How do you take care of yourself?  How do you make yourself feel better?

“Somewhere over the rainbow bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh, why can’t I?”

Music is my therapy and listening to some new and old music lately.

A Little Bit Off – Five Finger Death Punch (Click Here) – this explains it perfectly

I’m a little bit off today, something down inside me’s different
Woke up a little off today, I can tell that something’s wrong
I’m a little thrown off today, there’s something going on inside me
I’m a little bit off today, a little bit off today

Brighter Side of Grey – Five Finger Death Punch (Click Here)

When the lights go down
Know that I am never far away
When the sun burns out
I’ll be waiting on the brighter side of grey

Inside Out- Five Finger Death Punch (Click Here)

If I wrote it down for you, could you ever see it clear
Or would it go straight through your soul and come right out your ear
If I slowed it down for you, would you think me insincere
Cause in the end I’ll never bend, I’ll never shed a tear

Until Next Time……..Stay Safe

Four hours of car time, of time to talk about our days and weeks that seem to fly by as the earth moves beneath the car I sit and wonder what this trip will throw our way as you see time is not on our side.  It has been too long since we have been in Bottineau and Rugby as life has gotten away from us and made us lose sight of what truly matters.  I yearn for the face to face conversation with my loved ones who I do not see daily as I can only imagine what we could talk about.  How do we lose track of what matters when we are faced with such uncertainty with life?  I’m reminded daily how precious life is by watching others throw punches at whatever diseases come their way. What is it like sitting on 2^nd floor?

I have a hard time watching this person who was so full of life become someone I don’t recognize anymore. The thought right now makes me want to throw things and cry at the same time as I can’t take her pain away.  My knees grow week as I try and step out of the car on to the pavement and the view of the hospital is burned into my eyes.  I try not to let my little girl see the pain in my eyes as I don’t want her to be scared to go in to the hospital.  The door feels like lead and the elevator took years to get to the 2^nd floor.  I have a hard time realizing that this is the place my grandma must stay for the rest of her life as I know every day she hopes to move back to her beautiful farm.  This human being that use to be so full life and had a farm to roam around on now is confined to one room.  Is this really living?  Why does she have to suffer as I know her heart aches.

Do I knock? Will she be awake? Will she remember who I am? What if she scares our little one? How do I make her feel comfortable?  The thoughts race through my brain like wild fire as I want to be able to control the situation when I know it can’t be.  How do I put a smile on my face when all I want to do is kneel beside her bed and take the pain away?  We open the door quietly as we don’t want to scare her, and the dull light shines through the room.  The “Hellos” always start with hugs and tears as we miss each other dearly.  I catch myself staring as I look in her eyes and see the pain she endures and not only the physical pain but the pain of lost time.  The conversation goes from present to past and then goes on repeat.  Sports have always been a passion of hers as she loved watching her children and grandchildren in action and I can still hear her across the gym, so we usually put a game on while we are there to make the conversation easier for everyone.  Why are we given so many memories, but they seem to fade to a shade of grey?

The good byes are the hardest as knowing that every time could be the last just pulls my heart and the darkness consumes my ride home. Just like we embraced each other at the beginning we always end the same way as we cherish every moment.  The days where she could wave her leg at me on the front porch are gone but ingrained in my memory.  i know I am blessed to have had a grandmas for this long as so many lose theirs’ too early. Holding back the tears until I can hurry to the car to put sunglasses on becomes impossible.  The clouds pass by the tears flow and I try to understand that this is how life goes.  The silence is unbearable but I can’t speak.  The guilt washes over me that I got to leave 2^nd floor……

I really have tried to find the meaning in music lately as finding those certain songs can help the soul.  I hope you enjoy the following selection.

Remember You Young – Thomas Rhett (Click Here)

And no matter how much time goes by
And no matter how much we grow up
For worse or for better, from now ’til forever
I’ll always remember you young

Victorious – Skillet (Click Here)

I hear ’em talk to me
But they’re not listening
The words are kerosene
They don’t know who I am
They’d never understand
What it’s like to be me
I don’t wanna be here
So stuck inside
Tell me how long have I been here?
I’m losing track of time

Finish Line – Skillet (Click Here)

Good evening, my people up in the chandeliers
The wining and dining, the menu is blood, sweat and tears
Everybody ready, raining down confetti
Champions are born right now
Ain’t about the glamour, click goes the hammer
Run when you hear that sound

Happiness – Hobo Johnson & The Lovemakers (Click Here)

I really hope that you find happiness
And the book you write’s magnificent
And I won’t help but stare at every word
It would burn holes in many mattresses
After I place it down, read in full
That lovely little book titled, “I Told You So”

UNTIL NEXT TIME…..

What does it mean to be Loser? I love the weekends, especially Sundays, when it is cloudy out and I can snuggle up in a blanket with my coffee catching up on a show or reading a good book.  I recently watched a Netflix series called “Losers” which brought a lot of emotions to the forefront.  I came from a small town where sports were a staple and the whole town would end up in gym for a game.  What a feeling to have everyone around you supporting you and hearing the loud cheering coming from the bleachers.  I can still smell the popcorn while warming up for a basketball game.  The track was my true home the place where I felt most alive and where I could let go of what I was thinking.  Sports was always more to me than winning but of course I became a very competitive athlete.  I learned how to become a “Loser” in the 6^th grade where I had my breaking point as we lost a game and my attitude reflected poorly.  My parents made me apologize to my coach/teacher the next day before school and I felt horrible for how I acted but from that point on I learned from losing.

Losing is a good thing because life throws us curveballs all the time and we can only grow stronger but of course sometimes it can cause pain as well.  I look at society and it amazes me on how we must reward our children for everything they do with a participation ribbon.  If we are always rewarding them do they learn how to lose?  I think my daughter received more medals by the time she was five than I did my whole career as she got them just by looking cute in a tutu for dance.  I watch when I officiate basketball games how third graders handle losing, and it really makes me sad.  The team that wins usually comes and gives us knuckles and the team that loses usually walks off the court with frowns.  What is even worse is how the parents handle themselves and what the children then mimic.  When did we stop teaching our children how to be respectful even though they may be upset with themselves.  The series “Losers” show how pro athletes learn how to overcome their losses and how it makes them better human beings.  I think it is a great series to show our children what life really means and that it isn’t about the ribbons as it is about so much more.

We are going to lose everyday at something whether it be a game or a job interview so maybe my parents were on to something when I was young.  You should have to earn what is yours and work hard to get the medal or trophy.  I have been watching my own daughter go through the growing pains of watching others get on a podium while she must cheer on her teammates.  It is hard to watch as a parent, but it is a teaching moment for me to let her know that no matter how many times she loses I will still be proud that she is doing her best.  Of course, wanting to be competitive is a good thing and I want my daughter to want to push her limits when it comes to anything whether it be in sports or curriculum.  She still wants to be an Olympic Swimmer and I tell her every day that she can accomplish anything she can put her mind to, but I know the sting of the world will eventually hit.  I hope to always be there for her through wins and losses through life but hopefully I have taught her already how to lose gracefully.  Maybe our children don’t need a ribbon, maybe they just need us.

Music is my comfort and makes me feel alive.  I was able to share my love for music by bringing my daughter to the recent P!NK concert and watching the joy it brought her made the tears flow.

Don’t Take the Girl – Tim McGraw (Click Here)
Same old boy
Same sweet girl
Five years down the road
There’s gonna be a little one and she
Says it’s time to go
Doctor says the baby’s fine
But you’ll have to leave
‘Cause his momma’s fading fast and
Johnny hit his knees and there he prayed
“Take the very breath you gave me
Take the heart from my chest
I’ll gladly take her place if you’ll let me
Make this my last request
Take me out of this world
God, please don’t take the girl”

Barbies -P!NK (Click Here)
I wish I could go back to playing barbies in my room
They never say that you gotta grow up, quite this soon
How fast things change, and now I’m here
And all I wanna do
Is go back to playing barbies in my room

I Am Here – P!NK (Click Here)
May the light be upon me
May I feel in my bones that I am enough
I can make anywhere home
My fingers are clenched, my stomach in knots
My heart it is racing, but afraid I am not
Afraid I am not

God’s Country – Blake Shelton (Click Here)
I saw the light in the sunrise
Sittin’ back in the 40 on the muddy riverside
Gettin’ baptized in holy water and shine
With the dogs runnin’
Saved by the sound of the been found
Dixie whistled in the wind, that’ll get you Heaven bound
The devil went down to Georgia but he didn’t stick around
This is God’s country (God’s country)

Until Next Time…………………………………..

I was walking to get lunch at work today and life just kind of slapped me across the face. I recently was at a luncheon where someone talked about how “We Forget” the little things that others may be less fortunate to experience. This idea as made me think more about how I conduct life and what I forget I have daily. We are so continuously busy with life that we tend to just go through the motions and not being present. How do we be present in our own lives? How do we be present in our children’s lives? How do we remember instead of forgetting?

When we are children we are oblivious to what life is throwing at us and we are just able to live in the moment. I wasn’t like most children as I felt life deeply and had a hard time with the world around me.  I enjoyed the moments growing up but even now the memory is starting to fade to black and white. I look at my daughter and just stare at her beautiful face knowing what memories she still going to be able to create. I am constantly reminding her to enjoy each moment and take it all in as I don’t think I did. This week it was interesting how some of those memories came flooding back as I saw Luke Perry, Lane Frost or Dylan from 90210, pass away from a massive stroke. My friends and I would get together on Wednesday nights and watch the newest episode of 90210 and I can still hear the laughter echoing in my friend’s basement. Life is such a precious gift and probably the most wasted gift we have ever been given. I would never want to go back in time to fix anything or relive a moment, but I wish my brain could keep all those memories locked in a place where I could open them in secret just to peek
occasionally. I try to remember moments of those that have passed, and it brings tears to my eyes as I would love to hear their voices one more time.

We forget to slow down and breathe when it really matters. I try to conduct my life and live each day, so I don’t have regrets which I know sometimes isn’t realistic. Lately, it has become interesting as life has flown by and I barely have time to breathe. I try to take in these moments too because my daughter has been enjoying her activities and I know one day she will be off on her own. It is such a crazy balance of complete chaos, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Maybe it is about the small things such as leaving a note for your loved ones in the morning or sitting with your child at night before they go to bed to talk about their day? Do we make time for ourselves? Do we make time for our loved ones? Do we let those moments pass so we can regret them later?

We Forget

The smell of morning homemade breakfast on Sundays
What it is like to not have a cellphone in our hands
The way it felt when your friend told you everything was going to be okay
The moment when your grandma gave you that bowl of ice cream before bed
The feeling of having your extended family all in one room during the holidays
The last day of high school sitting in the commons area with all your classmates
The hot sun at the pool where candy bars were melted for snack
The moment when your parents told you good night, don’t let the bed bugs bite

The music selection in the car has been interesting as we travel back and forth from swimming. Jocey is definitely my daughter as she is mesmerized by music and loves it all. I hope you enjoy the two selections on this post as the words have me thinking on a future post.

Millionaire – Chris Stapleton (Click Here)
They say “Love is more precious than gold”
Can’t be bought and it can’t be sold
I got love enough to spare
That makes me a millionaire

A Reason To Fight – Disturbed (Click Here)

The image in your eyes
Reflecting the pain that has taken you
I hear it in your voice, so ridden with shame
From what’s hailing you

I won’t give up so don’t give in
You’ve fallen down but you can rise again
So don’t give up

You can do anything little one!

Until Next Time……………………………..

I have been writing out our Holiday cards and sending them in the mail and it sparked a thought about what cards mean to me.  What does it mean to you to receive a card or note?  Do you read it?  Do you throw it away?  Do you appreciate that someone took time out of their day to tell you how special you are?  Do you ever give a card or note to someone you care about and take the extra time to write in it?  Do you just send it because you feel like you must?

I don’t know how many hours and minutes I have spent in Hallmark stores or other stores in the card aisle with my mom looking for that perfect card that has the perfect words to fit the occasion.  I watched how she smiled and cried while she looked inside the card and was able to experience the emotion of words.   She always let me help when I was younger, but of course I went for the card with stars or sports on the front.  I didn’t know then as much as I do now that there was a lesson involved in what she was trying to instill in her daughter.  She sent cards to let her loved ones know she cared without it being a special occasion.   I knew how much it meant to her to find that one card that would make a person feel genuinely loved.  I hear a lot of people state “cards are a waste of money,” but I am just not convinced quite yet that cards or notes are a thing of the past.

I have followed in her footsteps in wanting to find that perfect card with the perfect words as I just want to be a light in someone’s day.  The Hallmark ladies know me by name and maybe there is a part of me that feels like I belong there because those cards have the words I want to tell so many when I am unable to talk.  I think sometimes for me when I am feeling out of sorts or have a lot going on by sending a meaningful card it makes feel somewhat alive.  Jocey is definitely following in my footsteps as making cards seems to come natural and she is always looking for the message she wants to say to those she loves.   I just know in the world where there is so much turmoil and hate, we as human beings can make someone’s day brighter by a few simple words.   I remember receiving cards from special friends and family when I was going through Cancer or other tough situations and it lifted my spirits and made me feel loved.   Are you worried what you write in the card isn’t correct?   I do not think by trying to covey a genuine message that you can mess up if you have your heart in the right place.  Why wouldn’t we try this simple gesture?

I challenge you to write a note or in a card and send it to someone who needs a bright light to lead them out of a dark path or to recognize someone for everything they do for our world.  Maybe you make a bunch of cards like Jocey and her class did to give to the homeless shelters so those individuals with little hope have some words to make their day better on their Birthday.  What if you sent a card to your favorite first grade teacher and let them know what an impact they had on your life?  Maybe you recognize a co-worker who goes above and beyond not just at work but in their own life?  Do we lift each other up enough where people are so easily torn down?

“Be courageous and try to write in a way that scares you a little.” ~Holly Gerth

I hope you enjoy my music selection as I have been listening a lot lately while searching.

So Far Away – Staind (Click Here)

This is my life
It’s not what it was before
All these feelings I’ve shared
And these are my dreams

In The End – Linkin Park (Click Here)

I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried so hard

Save Me – Shinedown (Click Here)

Through the Ghost – Shinedown (Click Here)

Until Next Time………………

When I used to hear the word coffee as a young child I always thought of it as being disgusting, however the aroma that crept into my bedroom in the morning as my mom was making a cup smelled delicious.  When we used to visit and spend the night at my grandma Char’s farm I clearly remember the mornings where coffee was being poured, the paper was being read with soft, country music playing in the background, but what I remember most is the conversation of those sitting around her dining room table.   I recently have come to appreciate coffee as to me it isn’t just a beverage but a way to get together with the people I cherish. 

I have always enjoyed genuine and deep conversations as I want to know more about a person than just talking about how the weather is outside.   My mom needed a break during the week when I was younger, even though my sister and I were the most outstanding children, so she would go out with her friends for coffee on Wednesday nights while we were at religion class as that was her way to stay connected to her friends.   I had the privilege of working with college students and of course once they moved on from college I was honored to be able to catch up over a cup of coffee.  I had the most amazing students who have become family and I believe developing that relationship and having a conversation is truly the key as I have gotten to experience their marriages, breakups, having children, and so much more.  I am not perfect and I know we all live busy schedules but finding the time for one another is so important.

In the past few years, this cup of coffee has become my solace.  I started off my coffee journey with the yummy coffee drinks as I couldn’t handle plain, black coffee but when I had Thyroid Cancer it all had to change as my diet was strict.  The hospital coffee shop became my regular stop as they started to know my name and always asked if I wanted a punch card which I replied no because hopefully I wouldn’t be back very often.  The ladies at the hospital were always so welcoming and inviting that I still make a pit stop there when I am there for my check-ups or in the area as I enjoy their warm smiles and conversation.  It was so amazing to me that they always had a smile on their face and how it made me feel like I was the most special individual that walked in to the shop.  There is something about coffee shops that have always grabbed my attention as it provides this calming atmosphere and the shops let you unwind by a fireplace or in comfy couches. 

It is hard to take the time for another individual as our lives are a whirlwind, however I challenge you to set a coffee date with your best friend or a friend you haven’t seen in a while.  Why not take your child on a coffee date to listen to their stories and imagination?  What about your family members who may just need a shoulder to lean on?  If coffee isn’t for you maybe supper or lunch are options to enjoy the company of someone. When you are at coffee next time with someone maybe we talk about what their fears are or what their goals are in life? We just don’t know what is in store for us so take time to be with your loved ones.  Thank you to those that have taken the time to go out for coffee with me as I cherish every moment and every conversation. There is nothing like waking up on a cool fall day with a cup of steaming, hot coffee. Cheers!

I have been thinking about people a lot and the interactions I have with them as sometimes it is an adventure.  The music I have below is more country as that is what I have been playing in my vehicle as it brings me back to when I was young and life was more simple.

Most People are Good: Luke Bryan (Click Here)
I believe most people are good
And most Mama’s oughta qualify for sainthood
I believe most Friday nights look better under neon or stadium lights
I believe you love who you love
Ain’t nothing you should ever be ashamed of
I believe this world ain’t half as bad as it looks
I believe most people are good

I believe that days go slow and years go fast
And every breath’s a gift, the first one to the last

Humble and Kind: Tim McGraw (Click Here)
Don’t take for granted the love this life gives you
When you get where you’re going don’t forget turn back around
And help the next one in line
Always stay humble and kind

Live Like You Were Dying: Tim McGraw (Click Here)
“I went sky divin’,
I went rocky mountain climbin’,
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fumanchu.
And I loved deeper,
And I spoke sweeter,
And I gave forgiveness I’d been denying.”

My Super Hero!:)

Until Next Time………………………….. 

Today is one of those days where I just can’t. I have been sitting here trying to figure out why. I believe it is just a long list of items that have piled up along with the ugly doctor appointment this morning. The feeling of being lost started creeping in and I tried to push it away by being busy but it came back and slapped me in the face. I remember these feelings all too well as I am not motivated for even little things like putting all my wet jeans in the dryer. The anxiety has taken over and I can’t breathe. I wear glasses because I can’t sleep and waterproof mascara so my makeup doesn’t run down my cheeks. I want to crawl inside my bed and not talk to the outside world. I am not feeling well as the world has swallowed me whole. I recognize that I needed this day to try and put some pieces back together.

Bought gifts for others at the hospital gift shop.

Do you ever take a day for you? Do you just need a day for recharging your energy? Do you feel bad for needing one? Mental health is an interesting topic as it is becoming more talked about but I feel is still a taboo subject. Should businesses have mental health days built in to their benefits? I believe employers should as employees barely leave when they are sick via physical or mental as afraid of getting behind on work or not having enough PTO built up. Does society make this okay for us to bring this to light?
This produces a lot of issues of presenteeism and absenteeism in workplaces which in results in reduce productivity. I struggle with taking time off as I have seen firsthand how fast PTO hours can go during cancer and then the fear lingers that I need to make sure I have enough in case something happens. I also worry about putting work on my co-worker’s shoulders as I don’t want them to have to do more because I am out. Do our friends and family support this idea of a mental health day? If you truly love someone then this should be an easy answer as we need to be there for each other. The world is a cruel place and I saw that in the news and on social media a lot this past week. How can we put people down when they are really struggling with an obvious mental health issue? Do we look in the mirror? We all make mistakes and there should be no judgement.  We need to start putting ourselves first.

Comfort food for lunch…

This is going to look different on everyone as this is not a one size fits all type of day. Does this day involve ones you love or being by yourself? Do you sleep or watch television all day? How about reading a book or a magazine that has been sitting in your drawer? Does having pets around you help you get through tough moments? Do you shut your phone off or ignore Social Media? Maybe it is a hot shower, your favorite music, or meditation that helps.  You can see from the pictures throughout the post of what my day consisted of. I know by even having this one day that tomorrow I may not be 100% but it is a start to try to put the pieces together. I want to be there for my family and to be present but I can’t do that if I’m struggling. I don’t choose to be this way and I am trying hard to get out of this funk. I challenge you to do something nice for yourself and for someone else as we all have these days.

Music is what moves me and truly changes my perspective when I’m down. I chose a few songs that I listen to a lot and you may have already heard in a previous post.

I Want to Live: Skillet (Click Here)
I want to live my life
The choice is mine, I’ve made up my mind
Now, I’m free to start again
The way I want to live (to live) and breathe (and breathe)
The way I want that’s right for me
I may not know nothing else
But I know this, I want to live

Shed Some Light: Shinedown (Click Here)
I’m falling apart again
And I can’t find a way to make amends
And I’m looking in both directions
But it’s make believe, it’s all pretend

Be Good To Each Other…..Until Next Time……..