The poor ground chicken felt my frustration as I felt a little bit off today as I don’t see an end. The moving and traveling part is still. Do you ever feel like you just want to scream in the middle of a room due to your thoughts running away from you? Do you ever feel lost to the point where you are not sure what the reflection in the mirror will look like the next moment? I would like to say I am having a rough day or feel out of sorts but that wouldn’t be being honest with myself. Today had been a day where everything on the outside was going amazing but on the inside the thoughts of everything crept in to take over.
It will be okay. Give me a minute.
“Somewhere over the rainbow way up high
There’s a land that I heard of once in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true”
I fight the tears with every thought that comes to my crazy, wired brain. Why do I have these thoughts? Why is everything a mess? The reflection I see is a shell of the person I use to be, the one with a genuine smile. What is the meaning of the broken record we call life? I see myself in a little girl with big, blue eyes and it scares me that she will have my thought process. I can hear the static right now of the world and it is like a horror movie. It is crippling as I feel the pain of those who are hurting.
It will be okay. Give me a minute.
“Someday I’ll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far
Behind me
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That’s where you’ll find me”
The bed is the place I want to be and hope when I open my eyes this is all just over. I am tired. I am being honest. I don’t feel like talking or being social. I hear people saying it will get better but right now those are whispers that I can’t make sense of in this moment.
I know it will pass and be okay but, in the meantime, just give me a minute.
How do you take care of yourself? How do you make yourself feel better?
“Somewhere over the rainbow bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh, why can’t I?”
Music is my therapy and listening to some new and old music lately.
A Little Bit Off – Five Finger Death Punch (Click Here) – this explains it perfectly
I’m a little bit off today, something down inside me’s different
Woke up a little off today, I can tell that something’s wrong
I’m a little thrown off today, there’s something going on inside me
I’m a little bit off today, a little bit off today
Brighter Side of Grey – Five Finger Death Punch (Click Here)
When the lights go down
Know that I am never far away
When the sun burns out
I’ll be waiting on the brighter side of grey
Inside Out- Five Finger Death Punch (Click Here)
If I wrote it down for you, could you ever see it clear
Or would it go straight through your soul and come right out your ear
If I slowed it down for you, would you think me insincere
Cause in the end I’ll never bend, I’ll never shed a tear
Until Next Time……..Stay Safe
Traveling With Jo 