Traveling for work and to see family has allowed me to ponder a question that I get so often, “Are you going to have another child?” It is a very harmless question and I know people are asking because the society we live in says that you should have two or more children. For the longest time I wasn’t sure how to answer the question as my answer would change daily.
2:00 a.m.“Jason my water broke, it is time to go to the hospital.” I can’t believe tonight is the night that I give birth to my precious little girl. “Jason please drive faster, my contractions are coming fast.”
I grew up with a small immediate family consisting of my parents and my one sister who is five years older than me, however I have a very large extended family. When I was younger of course the dream was to marry Prince Charming and have two beautiful children with one being a boy and the other a girl. There were not many families around our hometown that had just one child. I remembered hearing that if you have one child they will be spoiled and ill-mannered and of course I didn’t want that to happen to me and my own family. However, I know better now it is how you raise and teach your children that can help shape them into decent human beings. I never fathomed only having one child because that wasn’t something you did by choice. The societal norm always plays a roll when it comes to what things should be or look like instead of deciding for yourself what you really want.
4:00 a.m.“Well I might as well get the epideral as my contractions are coming way too fast and hard. I don’t want to pass out. This is such a crazy process. Getting the needle in didn’t hurt to bad. Finally some relief for myself and Jason…..30 minutes later…….what do you mean it isn’t working anymore….why?….keep working please…..ahahhahah what a waste.”
Why only one? Why four? Why none? Again if you are asking to actually know what a couple’s plan is for children then ask but if you are being judgmental when you ask the question then please be quiet. I know some people may feel that by only having one we are doing a dishonesty to Jocey by not giving her a little sister or brother. She does ask if she could have a little sister but just letting her know that we can’t guarantee her it would be a girl. Sure having a sibling is awesome and I love having my sister around. However, does everyone have a loving, sibling situation, of course not. That just means we need to do our job and see cousins more and have those close friend relationships who end up being like family.
7:42 a.m., July 13, 2009“It is time and everything just hurts and it is so hard to breathe. One last push..finally…..what a beautiful little girl and I can’t believe she is mine. Look at all 10 of those fingers and toes. Her cute little button nose and blonde hair.”
There is this comment that I have heard about how hard it is going to be on a single child to have to plan funerals for both parents by oneself. My first thought is that maybe it is better to concentrate on the present and not the future with all of the amazing little moments we have with our daughter. Secondly, being a mom of course I have thought of this and for that we will have pretty much everything planned out for her ahead of time. There is also more to consider such as can we do this financially and also looking at our own well being. These two things I am told are not a big deal as you can always afford a kid and that you will figure it out. This I don’t believe works for us as everyone is right, money isn’t everything, but I do need to put food on the table and clothes on my child. When it comes to our well being it isn’t about just looking at the physical state but also the mental state you are in too. This is something I struggle with…….
7:00 a.m., July 13, 2016“As I sit here typing while Jocey is sleeping, I can’t believe she turns 7 years old today. Where does time go and that is the reminder I have to tell myself to enjoy every second of her because the moments do not happen twice. I am so proud to be this little girl’s mom and watch her grow into this incredible human being who has such a strong personality but who will also melt your heart. When she smiles she lights up the room but more importantly she lights up my life. I love you to the moon and back little girl and forever and always my little girl you will be.
Motherhood is the most unexplainable, amazing, and hardest thing that I have accomplished in my life, however it is one of the most scary things I have ever done too. So the answer is NO, I am not pregnant nor do we plan on having more children. Of course we have thought about this over and over again since Jocey was born so the decision wasn’t made lightly, but the right decision was made for us. Our small family is complete and for us it is perfect.
Music recently knowing Jocey’s birthday was coming up I started listening to songs that reminded me of her and what songs she really enjoys. I hope you like the selection:
These are words
That every girl should have a chance to hear
There will be love
There will be pain
There will be hope
There will be fear
And through it all year after year
Stand or fall I will be right here
And after all I will be right here
For you
Hush my love now don’t you cry
Everything will be all right
Close your eyes and drift in dream
Rest in peaceful sleep
In my daughter’s eyes,
I am a hero,
I am strong and wise,
And I know no fear,
But the truth is plain to see,
She was sent to rescue me,
I see who I want to be,
In my daughter’s eyes
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you’ll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.
Until Next Time………….
Traveling With Jo 